Baby #2, moving to a new city, starting a new job, and the beginnings of raising our first 2-year-old required a brief hiatus from blogging. While this time has been devoid of blogging, it has been very rich in personal experiences to blog about. Today I am covering the idea of putting your baby on a schedule, which is the focus of most of the controversy when it comes to Babywise hatred. If you remember (or if you read between the lines) I favor the experience and recommendations of Richard Ferber, the children’s sleep expert at Harvard. However, just because what he writes makes scientific and logical sense to me, it does not mean that it works in the real world.
More on Ferberization
Now that we have survived raising two newborns, it seems quite clear to my wife and I that (as the Ferber book states) most babies are not neuro-developmentally capable of sleep training and a rigid schedule until they are around 3-4 months old. I must admit with our first two children we attempted to disprove this theory. However, after weeks and weeks filled with frustration and a general lack of success, we have really come to appreciate this tidbit of Ferber wisdom.
All Babies are Not the Same
Now this does not mean that no babies can be sleep trained before 3-4 months. Nor does this mean that ALL babies are ready for a schedule at 3-4 months. It has just been our experience that OUR children were not ready for the rigid schedule and sleep training until they were around 4 months old. Having this expectation is generally helpful. Helpful in the sense that it will reduce the frustration that you may feel if you are in the midst of the futile process of trying to sleep-train a baby who is just not neuro-developmentally capable.
Day & Night
It is also important to note that when I talk about sleep training, I am talking about the daytime nap schedule… not nighttime sleep. This is a completely different issue and understanding the difference between nighttime and daytime is an early skill that newborns can (and should) achieve.
In Conclusion
I am not suggesting that Babywise is worthless or even wrong. In fact, the core concepts of parent-directed feeding and family centered childcare are by far the best in my opinion. Just don’t be surprised (or frustrated) if your baby takes a little longer than a week or two to the get the whole schedule thing… which is often times what Babywise seems to suggest.
I am thankful EVERY SINGLE DAY that both of our kids were very receptive to being on a schedule. They both slept through the night by 4 weeks and you could set a watch based on the times they would get hungry and start crying.
There is a reason that many people hate Baby Wise. It’s a dangerous book written by a man who has no formal training in childcare or child development. Among many things, the book advocates forcing newborns to eat only every 3 or 4 hours. Newborns often need to eat every 2 hours for optimum weight gain and development. Not allowing them to do so can cause medical problems like dehydration and malnutrition. The author, Gary Ezzo, bases the techniques in this book on his interpretation of the bible. It is NOT based on scientific research and evidence. Would you go to a surgeon that based his techniques and methods on biblical principles? I think not. Please do not subject your child such religion-based quackery that masquerades as medical advice. No quality physician or provider should recommend Baby Wise to parents.
Always fascinating to hear all the Babywise haters out there. Just curious if Alice has tried the Babywise approach or just hates it because she disagrees with it philosophically. Have you read the book? Medical problems like dehydration and malnutrition are not caused by following the Babywise recommendations but rather by NOT following the Babywise recommendations. Babywise encourages following hunger cues and feeding when hungry “as much as 10-12 times per day.” Hard to see how this is forcing newborns to eat only every 3-4 hours. It is true that some newborns may need to eat every 2 hours but not all newborns. My first son, born at 37 week and 5.5 pounds fed about 8 times per day, or every 3 hours. He gained weight at every check-up, made lots of wet and dirty diapers, and was very content. So tired of hearing people bash the way other people raise their kids. If you want to do something useful tell people about the positive aspects of your own parenting experience.
Yes, it’s clear Alice hasn’t actually read Babywise. I’m always surprised that the majority of Babywise haters haven’t even read the book thoroughly. I also don’t understand why they feel the need to attack those that find Babywise a useful and valuable parenting style. As a Babywise mom, I don’t feel the need to attack the AP style of parenting. I think that if that style works for you…then do it, fantastic, great, wonderful! But it doesn’t work for me and never could. Each parent must find their own way. So explore all options and you will know what style of parenting is best for you and your baby. And when a baby fails to thrive because it wasn’t fed enough…that’s the parent’s fault…not a book’s fault. FEED YOUR CHILD! And if you don’t want to let your child CIO…then don’t.